APR 07, 2011
Advice for Men about Ex & Current Girlfriends
Hey there. I'm tired, I'm pissed off and I need to rant. But it's an educational rant, so pay attention.
Men... Or, perhaps I should say "guys" instead... TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
You want to know why your current girlfriend gets weird and upset and angry over issues with your ex girlfriend? Because you don't step up and take care of business.
See... women need to be told things as directly as the dense male population does. Men bitch that women aren't direct. That they expect their minds to be read. That they expect the impossible.
Nope. We just expect the reasonable. And the quickest way to make sure that you turn a completely rational, cool girlfriend into that chick you never wanted her to turn into is to not secure all loose ends.
This means having big enough balls than just the ones you whine that we neglect while slobbering over the knob. This means that if you have an ex girlfriend who is a nut job who tracks you down more than a year after you've left the state she lives in, let alone several years after you last dated, you don't downplay her tracking down your new phone number and trying to drunkenly interfere with the sanctity of your new life.
See, I really love my new life with my friend, my lover, my partner, my boyfriend, whatever you like to define it as. We are open and honest about everything. I've had to discuss the ugly details of my "baby daddy" and the shit that he put me through as well as the potential shit that he could put me through in the future. I have made my new beau aware of all the drama that comes along with that so that he is prepared. I also take care of my business by filing the previously neglected paperwork to have my ex's parental rights legally revoked. So as to eliminate some of the drama.
I also know all about the gory details of his past and the portion that keeps him tethered to that previous life, although I will allow him the privilege of privacy here and not discuss the details. It doesn't involve kids and it doesn't even involve the ex-bitch directly.
Have some fucking balls. Here.... have some of mine.
Yes, to the male mind, this all must seem irrational right now. But you know what? Sometimes you have to be irrational with those who don't understand basic logic. Sometimes you have to put on your gloves and take a couple of swings. Because this will wound a woman, scare a woman. And a psycho ex girlfriend is psycho BECAUSE YOU ALLOW HER TO BE. Because you have never stood up to the bitch, told her the truth, told her to fuck off.
I just watched a shitty movie called MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL. The one thing that's coming to my mind out of that tripe is that Dane Cook sputtered out a lot of mean crap to women to get them to run away. Most of the time, he was being creative, helping some schmuck out who wanted his girlfriend to see the error of her ways and come back into their arms.
But if you can take anything from that tripe of a film, it's this: HONESTY. BRUTAL, FORCEFUL HONESTY. Hurt them. Damage them.
It's OK if they look back and think you were an asshole.
It's NOT OK if they look back and start missing all the good things about you and try to fuck with you because they're drunk and bored.
You don't want the psycho to come back? BE AN ASSHOLE. If they still come back?
Call me. I can take care of it for you.
And yes, darling, if and when you read this, at this moment I think you're a pussy. I've told you that before, that you're a pussy and a pushover when it comes to those evil, conniving people. You are a good man, a smart man, a sensible man and a man who gives credit to the people who do not deserve an ounce of it. Stop being a pussy about all this and take care of your business.
